My thoughts on The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane.
There seems to be a bajillion books out there on how to be a better speaker or a better conversationalist or just a better influencer in general, so finding a good book can be hard. I heard of this book from a persons blog I have followed for a few years now. He mentioned it briefly and I went to the book store the next day and bought it. But he is also a dating and confidence coach… so if he mentions a book related to his topic, it must be pretty good.
Upon reading this book, I immediately loved how Olivia breaks down the chapters. They all contain a scientific breakdown of what’s really going on inside your brain when certain events happen. Then she will tell a story of some one she has personally helped. I noticed a good portion of her clients were also people who held pretty high level positions in large companies, making large deals and doing big business. So this information was definitely crucial to them when it came time to tango. I actually started reading this book when I was in somewhat of a consulting position/sales. It helped quite a bit and I’m ashamed to admit I haven’t read and applied this book to my life as much as I should have.
The chapters each end with Key Takeaways and within each chapter are exercises to help you actually apply these teachings to your life. There is also a list of exercises you can do in the back of the book for quick reference. One trick I’ve used a lot on dates is to sit next to, not across, from my date. This allows for a lot of things, most importantly, a better comfort level; but I won’t digress.
Olivia breaks down a few Charisma Styles in this book, which helped me a lot in identifying how people might react to me, and how I should act based on certain interactions, depending on the scenario. The Charisma Styles are Focus Charisma, Visionary Charisma, Kindness Charisma, and Authority Charisma. More importantly though, is that Olivia explains how to use each one, and when to use it, or not use it. This includes some famous name drops like Bill Gates and how they have used a certain charisma to captivate a crowd. I don’t think of Bill Gates when I think of charisma, but the science is in.
This may seem a bit a brash, but if you had to pick either How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, or The Charisma Myth, I would certainly stick with the latter. But you don’t have to pick one… so buy both.
Bust the Charisma Myth today if you:
- Are in sales
- Are dating
- Are not dating and in a relationship
- Are managing people and need to lead them
- Want to be a better influencer
- Want to better understand the human brain in social interactions
- Need a quick reference guide and practice manual for charisma
- Want to stop seeming like a jerk when you order your coffee at Starbucks in the morning